I had to laugh today.... well, there is usually something in every day to make me laugh. That is if I pay attention. It was actually my facebook status that simply read what my menu is for this evenings meal. " Angela Hernandez has breaded baked chicken, wild rice, salad and a chocolate bundt cake on the menu tonight". That is what I settled on. It's a decision every time.... what to post about life here. Sometimes something "deep", or thoughtful, scriptures, happenings, cute kids stuff, duties, whereabouts, findings, learnings.... Today, none of that, just a menu. The menu sounds like I have it all together. Even though, if you could have seen the craziness in these walls, you may have wondered why the optimism. Even I wondered if I was being fake for posting only the good. I don't want to be shallow, nor fake. I don't want everyone to have a false sense of the reality of life here. I don't want to be a hypocrite. So, why do I post the good?
Simply because in my heart there is a joy. Even when I have a three year old sitting at the table all day being stubborn about her food reheated from dinner last night. Yes, when she sits there, breakfast, lunch, and even after nap. Then she proceeds to throw up all over the floor and table because her poor little stubborn self feels sick from not eating that food she so badly dislikes. She sat through, missing a yummy breakfast, yummy lunch and even refusing to eat to get the yummy snack of rice crispy treats! It will at this point be reheated again for tonight's dinner.
Even while my "status" remains the same, I have a baby screaming to eat, puke all over the place, and messes to clean from baking that chocolate bundt cake I posted about.
Through it all there is a deepness in me that knows "It is well". There is a song to sing while cleaning and training. There are lessons not only for my littles hearts around me that I have to be diligent to wash them in the word, but bigger lessons for me in all this mess. That fullfills me with intensity.
So, the next time you read my status on Facebook, I just want you to know, that I know, that it is a tiny itty bitty fraction of the realness going on here- but it is real and from the heart. Because I try to do it all with my heart. Not perfectly for that will never happen. But walking in the Spirit with His fruit.
